40 Days of Prayer: Hawaii

Yesterday on my way to meet two friends and more importantly, sisters in Christ, God told me it was time to start my 40 days of prayer about His will for us about moving (or not...sniff, sniff!) to Hawaii.

When I thought He was telling me that it was time to start I found myself praying something that was really a God thing: I prayed that at the end of the forty days, if He made it clear to me that we are not to go to Hawaii, He would make a way for me to stop dreaming about Hawaii and to leave all this "go-go-ga-ga for Hawaii" nonsense behind. I started to cry when I said that. In front of me was a black truck with a small sticker on the back of the cab's window of the Hawaiian islands. The thought of letting the fantasy go broke my heart, but I prayed that. It was out there. It's done. I gave it to Him. I don't know what that means, really. Does that mean that God needed me to just fully give it over to Him before He'd make it clear to me what His will is on this passion of mine for Hawaii? Or does that mean that His will is for us to not go and for me to just give it up and move on already? I don't know yet. But the adventure has begun and I am extremely excited to see what His will be for this chapter in the book of my life.

We went to the beach yesterday. I prayed at great length on the drive there (my husband drove). I prayed about God's will for us about moving or not and for the people of Hawaii. I prayed for the lost and hurting people of the islands. I prayed for the churches of Hawaii to be strengthened mightily by, with and in Him. I prayed that the hurts and needs of those people would be touched and healed by His loving hand (through the body there).

I continued to pray while we played at the beach. I meditated on it. Tried to focus on just God and to hear His voice. I was at the beach, greatly enjoyed it and most importantly my relations to with God and my family while I was there, but I did often have my thoughts go to comparing Pismo Beach to the beaches of Hawaii. No comparison -the least of the beaches I've put my bare feet on in Hawaii crush Pismo in a heartbeat. :-) That's not likely God, just me. :-)

One of the things I talked to God about yesterday was if we were having a similar day -a fun family day at the beach- in Hawaii -as residents- would we be better off? Happier? More secure in HIm? Would we be more in His will? I also explored finances. Everyone I've told about my desire to live in Hawaii says something about the cost of living. (They often, also, say things about a lack of change in seasons and "island fever".)

I didn't really get any sense or clarity about God's thoughts on all of it, but I did spend a great time focused on my thoughts about it and seeking His on it.

I am excited to see what will evolve over the next 40 days! I am afraid too. Any way I slice the "option pie" I have an issue. ;-)

A Look at the Option Pie:

*If His will is "no" it will be extremely hard to let go and move on. **But I know that He will help me to do so.

*If His will is "yes" it will be a big move, lots to do, much to figure out and it will be hard to say good-bye to family and friends. **But I know that He will help us to do so.

*If He says, "wait" it will be extremely hard to be patient. **But He wants me to be mature, complete and not lacking in anything, so He will give me the tools to be self-disciplined to be patient.

*If He says "maybe" by not saying the above three it might just be the hardest of the four options. I am praying for 40 days about this because I want to know, desperately, but also because I feel led by Him to do so. But I need to trust in Him no matter what. Trust in who He is and nothing more. He will help me -He is always, unchange-ably, faithful. He will provide me with whatever I will need if all I hear is "maybe."