Well, the good news is it's day 15 and I have stayed focused and on track, with only a few minor exceptions, for 14 days. I have gone from 191.5 pounds and now saw 185.6 today on the scale. So I've lost 6 pounds in 14 days. I've been through a lot of temptations: a birthday party; Disneyland; an ice cream parlor; three church functions with all my favorite goodies; a day at the beach; and just all the average every-day temptations. But today -day 15, at only 11:15 AM I feel is going to be my hardest day.
I don't know why. I just feel like giving up. I won't. But I do feel like it. So I grabbed the laptop and I am ignoring everything else for just a moment to put it out there that I am struggling today!!! I think it will help me to stay focused today -to not waiver. Because right now I want to go to iHop and eat a huge pile of pancakes smothered in butter and syrup.
I wonder if two weeks in on a diet is a usual time to fail? I am choosing to ignore my desires to eat things and ways that will sabotage my hard work and I am choosing to tune into my desires to be healthy, thin and NO LONGER FAT. And by doing that it's like stepping one foot onto Hawaii -the figurative, symbolic Hawaii.
Aloha & pray for me to stay strong today!!!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
Hawaii Links
Please note: This is a CONTINUAL WORK IN PROGRESS
I will continue to add great links related to Hawaii in this post.
Here are the categories. If you have a link you would suggest, send me a comment! :-)
1. Travel to Hawaii:
i General Vacation:
- A. Hawaiigaga.com is a great site for anyone planning a trip to Hawaii. Check it out!
- Stories of Hawaii is a great collection of short videos about Hawaii -everything from learning to surf to the history and culture of the islands are featured. It's great to see highlights of the islands. For example: you can see what the "night life" of Waikki is like and what the country side of Oahu's North Shore is like.
- Traveling to the Big Island? Check out Konaweb.com "An Online Magazine about The Big Island of Hawaii."
ii. Honeymooning in Hawaii:
iii. Special Interest Adventure/Activites in Hawaii while on vacation:
iv. Air Fare to Hawaii:
- Want some tips on when to buy and when to go to Hawaii for the best deals? Try
2. Moving to/ Living in Hawaii
i. Pros & Cons (general)
ii. Cost of Living
- Big Island Real Estate a look at Housing costs end of November 2009
- Hawaii Real Estate Blog -a blog featuring housing information for the islands.
iii. Jobs
- MoveToHawaii 's job listings
- Craig's List of Hawaii
iv. Culture/island life
- Need to connect with others living on the Big Island? Check out Konaweb.com "An Online Magazine about The Big Island of Hawaii."
v. Family living
vi. Relocation Info/Services:
- Kona Forum -Relocating to the Big Island of Hawaii information and services and links/resources.
- Wahinemalihini or "Woman Newcomer" in Hawaiian. A blog about a woman who just moved from California's Silicon Valley to Honolulu, Hawaii. I for sure will watch and read up on this one! :-)
3. For Fun
i. Live Web Cams
- Westin Kaanapali Ocean Resort Villas web cam. Preview paradise with the click of your mouse. -This one is fun and interactive. Watching all the people in the pool and on the beach can make you long to be right there with them -just so you know!
- The Sheraton Waikiki Surf-cam overlooks the south shore of Oahu. The Waikiki cam pans across award winning Waikiki beach, and is available 24 hours a day!
This live cam view pans from the top of the Sheraton Waikiki and famous Waikiki Beach. Views of Diamond Head and popular surf spots are key highlights.
- Like "Hawaii" on Facebook -also a great resource for fun facts, fun links, videos and news. :-)
4. Important Resources
i. Hawaiian Language
ii. Culture
iii. History
40 Days of Prayer: Hawaii
Yesterday on my way to meet two friends and more importantly, sisters in Christ, God told me it was time to start my 40 days of prayer about His will for us about moving (or not...sniff, sniff!) to Hawaii.
When I thought He was telling me that it was time to start I found myself praying something that was really a God thing: I prayed that at the end of the forty days, if He made it clear to me that we are not to go to Hawaii, He would make a way for me to stop dreaming about Hawaii and to leave all this "go-go-ga-ga for Hawaii" nonsense behind. I started to cry when I said that. In front of me was a black truck with a small sticker on the back of the cab's window of the Hawaiian islands. The thought of letting the fantasy go broke my heart, but I prayed that. It was out there. It's done. I gave it to Him. I don't know what that means, really. Does that mean that God needed me to just fully give it over to Him before He'd make it clear to me what His will is on this passion of mine for Hawaii? Or does that mean that His will is for us to not go and for me to just give it up and move on already? I don't know yet. But the adventure has begun and I am extremely excited to see what His will be for this chapter in the book of my life.
We went to the beach yesterday. I prayed at great length on the drive there (my husband drove). I prayed about God's will for us about moving or not and for the people of Hawaii. I prayed for the lost and hurting people of the islands. I prayed for the churches of Hawaii to be strengthened mightily by, with and in Him. I prayed that the hurts and needs of those people would be touched and healed by His loving hand (through the body there).
I continued to pray while we played at the beach. I meditated on it. Tried to focus on just God and to hear His voice. I was at the beach, greatly enjoyed it and most importantly my relations to with God and my family while I was there, but I did often have my thoughts go to comparing Pismo Beach to the beaches of Hawaii. No comparison -the least of the beaches I've put my bare feet on in Hawaii crush Pismo in a heartbeat. :-) That's not likely God, just me. :-)
One of the things I talked to God about yesterday was if we were having a similar day -a fun family day at the beach- in Hawaii -as residents- would we be better off? Happier? More secure in HIm? Would we be more in His will? I also explored finances. Everyone I've told about my desire to live in Hawaii says something about the cost of living. (They often, also, say things about a lack of change in seasons and "island fever".)
I didn't really get any sense or clarity about God's thoughts on all of it, but I did spend a great time focused on my thoughts about it and seeking His on it.
I am excited to see what will evolve over the next 40 days! I am afraid too. Any way I slice the "option pie" I have an issue. ;-)
A Look at the Option Pie:
*If His will is "no" it will be extremely hard to let go and move on. **But I know that He will help me to do so.
*If His will is "yes" it will be a big move, lots to do, much to figure out and it will be hard to say good-bye to family and friends. **But I know that He will help us to do so.
*If He says, "wait" it will be extremely hard to be patient. **But He wants me to be mature, complete and not lacking in anything, so He will give me the tools to be self-disciplined to be patient.
*If He says "maybe" by not saying the above three it might just be the hardest of the four options. I am praying for 40 days about this because I want to know, desperately, but also because I feel led by Him to do so. But I need to trust in Him no matter what. Trust in who He is and nothing more. He will help me -He is always, unchange-ably, faithful. He will provide me with whatever I will need if all I hear is "maybe."
When I thought He was telling me that it was time to start I found myself praying something that was really a God thing: I prayed that at the end of the forty days, if He made it clear to me that we are not to go to Hawaii, He would make a way for me to stop dreaming about Hawaii and to leave all this "go-go-ga-ga for Hawaii" nonsense behind. I started to cry when I said that. In front of me was a black truck with a small sticker on the back of the cab's window of the Hawaiian islands. The thought of letting the fantasy go broke my heart, but I prayed that. It was out there. It's done. I gave it to Him. I don't know what that means, really. Does that mean that God needed me to just fully give it over to Him before He'd make it clear to me what His will is on this passion of mine for Hawaii? Or does that mean that His will is for us to not go and for me to just give it up and move on already? I don't know yet. But the adventure has begun and I am extremely excited to see what His will be for this chapter in the book of my life.
We went to the beach yesterday. I prayed at great length on the drive there (my husband drove). I prayed about God's will for us about moving or not and for the people of Hawaii. I prayed for the lost and hurting people of the islands. I prayed for the churches of Hawaii to be strengthened mightily by, with and in Him. I prayed that the hurts and needs of those people would be touched and healed by His loving hand (through the body there).
I continued to pray while we played at the beach. I meditated on it. Tried to focus on just God and to hear His voice. I was at the beach, greatly enjoyed it and most importantly my relations to with God and my family while I was there, but I did often have my thoughts go to comparing Pismo Beach to the beaches of Hawaii. No comparison -the least of the beaches I've put my bare feet on in Hawaii crush Pismo in a heartbeat. :-) That's not likely God, just me. :-)
One of the things I talked to God about yesterday was if we were having a similar day -a fun family day at the beach- in Hawaii -as residents- would we be better off? Happier? More secure in HIm? Would we be more in His will? I also explored finances. Everyone I've told about my desire to live in Hawaii says something about the cost of living. (They often, also, say things about a lack of change in seasons and "island fever".)
I didn't really get any sense or clarity about God's thoughts on all of it, but I did spend a great time focused on my thoughts about it and seeking His on it.
I am excited to see what will evolve over the next 40 days! I am afraid too. Any way I slice the "option pie" I have an issue. ;-)
A Look at the Option Pie:
*If His will is "no" it will be extremely hard to let go and move on. **But I know that He will help me to do so.
*If His will is "yes" it will be a big move, lots to do, much to figure out and it will be hard to say good-bye to family and friends. **But I know that He will help us to do so.
*If He says, "wait" it will be extremely hard to be patient. **But He wants me to be mature, complete and not lacking in anything, so He will give me the tools to be self-disciplined to be patient.
*If He says "maybe" by not saying the above three it might just be the hardest of the four options. I am praying for 40 days about this because I want to know, desperately, but also because I feel led by Him to do so. But I need to trust in Him no matter what. Trust in who He is and nothing more. He will help me -He is always, unchange-ably, faithful. He will provide me with whatever I will need if all I hear is "maybe."
Diet, Days 5-10: Life Improvement
I have been so very busy! I have not had a chance to blog about the diet. So I will just discuss some stuff in general and a few things in detail.
Good news!!! I got on the scale today -my eleventh day on the diet and saw a number that made me quite happy!!! I saw 186.4. I *GULP!!!* started this diet at 191.5. Earlier this year I was down to abut 178, but it's been such an emotionally challenging, time-zapping, and fairly awful year that I just let myself go. So I am very sad to see 186.4, having said "SO LONG!" to the 180s in January, but thankfully I have sailed far-far-away from the 190s and hopefully I am only temporarily stuck in the 180s.
I found online a BMR calculator like this one and calculated my daily need for calories to be 1948.32 to maintain my current weight. So at 1,200 calories a day (or as close to it as possible) I am having a daily deficit of just under 750 calories. I found that one pound of fat is 3,500 calories so I calculated my weekly weight loss to be at about 1.5 lbs a week.
Obviously, my BMR will continually change as I lose the pounds, but based on a 1.5 lbs per week loss, I estimate that by the end of December I should be at 160. I truly hope and pray I do see those three digits in that order again by then! I was about 160 lbs when I got pregnant with my first daughter and I've been dreaming of seeing those numbers on the scale once more! Sure I'd love to see even less -145 would be AWESOME (about what I weighed when I got married and could wear a two piece bathing suite with confidence) but 160 would be just fine with me. And truthfully, I just want to be really healthy and a good size like 8 again. I realize the numbers aren't as important.
This week I went from 1,500 calories a day to 1,200. It's been a bit rough, but I am extremely glad I eased into the diet. Had I gone from about 1,900 a day to 1,200 it would have been too much and I would likely given up by now. My biggest struggles are my sweets-addiction, (not) drinking enough water (I've been having FAR TOO MUCH Diet Coke!) and finding low calorie options to eat with my family.
I've noticed too that I am able to look at food and know it won't be worth the calories and just skip it. Like cakes and cookies. Sure I can have one, but at what cost?! If I am down to the end of the night and I have enough left then I'll go for it, but I am doing well at having control in the mornings and afternoons. I had my woman's Bible study group today and like I said in a previous post it's very hard for me to control myself then. All the sweet and savory treats, the social eating and the coffee -coffee and sweets just go together for me. It is truly hard to have just coffee when I see such tempting sweets all around. But I did great today!
I got a quarter of a chocolate muffin and took a small bite. I did not like it very much, it was "alright" but I knew the quarter had to be at least 150 calories (it was a jumbo muffin to begin with) and that's 1/8 of my daily calorie intake goal. I did not eat it. I know the old me would have ended up nibbling away at it eventually and needlessly consuming 150 extra calories -just because it was there and sorta good. That wedge of "so-so-ness" would have cost me 1/23.3 a pound of fat I want off of me. No thanks. I am feeling very encouraged by my new outlook and resolve to just pass up a sweet!
Last weekend I had a lot of struggles with food and did not do as well, but if there's one thing I have learned about diets and me on them is: I have to have a healthy tension of discipline and grace. If I am too strict and too harsh on myself with it I will surely fail, surely gain it all back and then some, and feel self-defeated and too discouraged to try again. If I am too lax and keep thinking "Oh well, tomorrow is another day" I will never lose the weight I so desperately seek to shed! The healthy tension I am striving for this time around reminds me of how it is with God. We have to hold equally on to God's grace and God's justice -we can't remain in Him if we chose to only hold on to one.
On the days that I have come close to thinking "Who am I kidding, I am never going to really lose much weight and I will never really keep it off, so I'm just going to enjoy this food and screw the diet..." I have had a great resolve to just come back to that ugly voice in my head tempting me to just ditch all my hard work and sacrifice with "If I keep thinking this way I won't ever lose the weigh and keep it off and I want to lose it and keep it off more than I want this food." Thankfully, this is working. It hasn't always in the past.
Yesterday we went to the beach for a fun family get-away. It was going to be about 106 and the coast was only about 130 miles away and about 30 degrees cooler -a "no-brainer" option for us! :-)
I did well on my calories in the morning (aprox 210 calories), but I am not sure about the afternoon/evening. For lunch I had half a croissant sandwich -probably 500 calories. The croissant was good, but I know I'd rather have had a bowl of fruit or two bowls of veggies for the same calories it was worth. For dinner we went to a restaurant and I got a shredded chicken topped with coleslaw sandwich and the whole family shared a plate of amazingly good garlic fries. The white bread of my sandwich was nothing special so I grabbed a fork and just at the inside and I had a good amount of the fries, but probably half the amount I'd normally have. I felt disappointment creep in and then I told it to get lost, because I had made good decisions and all the hard work of building a sand castle and running around at the beach had probably burned off an extra 300 calories alone! There is no way to know for sure, but I bet my daily total yesterday was no more than 1600 calories, and that's still significantly better than I had been eating just two weeks ago! :-)
Future Steps:
I know, I know, I know I need to REALLY start a REGULAR exercise routine. I know that if my goal is to be healthy I will NEED to exercise too. And I do enjoy physical activity. It's just a big challenge for me to make the time for it. But by this time next week I will start some kind of daily exercise. I will! :-)
Good news!!! I got on the scale today -my eleventh day on the diet and saw a number that made me quite happy!!! I saw 186.4. I *GULP!!!* started this diet at 191.5. Earlier this year I was down to abut 178, but it's been such an emotionally challenging, time-zapping, and fairly awful year that I just let myself go. So I am very sad to see 186.4, having said "SO LONG!" to the 180s in January, but thankfully I have sailed far-far-away from the 190s and hopefully I am only temporarily stuck in the 180s.
I found online a BMR calculator like this one and calculated my daily need for calories to be 1948.32 to maintain my current weight. So at 1,200 calories a day (or as close to it as possible) I am having a daily deficit of just under 750 calories. I found that one pound of fat is 3,500 calories so I calculated my weekly weight loss to be at about 1.5 lbs a week.
Obviously, my BMR will continually change as I lose the pounds, but based on a 1.5 lbs per week loss, I estimate that by the end of December I should be at 160. I truly hope and pray I do see those three digits in that order again by then! I was about 160 lbs when I got pregnant with my first daughter and I've been dreaming of seeing those numbers on the scale once more! Sure I'd love to see even less -145 would be AWESOME (about what I weighed when I got married and could wear a two piece bathing suite with confidence) but 160 would be just fine with me. And truthfully, I just want to be really healthy and a good size like 8 again. I realize the numbers aren't as important.
This week I went from 1,500 calories a day to 1,200. It's been a bit rough, but I am extremely glad I eased into the diet. Had I gone from about 1,900 a day to 1,200 it would have been too much and I would likely given up by now. My biggest struggles are my sweets-addiction, (not) drinking enough water (I've been having FAR TOO MUCH Diet Coke!) and finding low calorie options to eat with my family.
I've noticed too that I am able to look at food and know it won't be worth the calories and just skip it. Like cakes and cookies. Sure I can have one, but at what cost?! If I am down to the end of the night and I have enough left then I'll go for it, but I am doing well at having control in the mornings and afternoons. I had my woman's Bible study group today and like I said in a previous post it's very hard for me to control myself then. All the sweet and savory treats, the social eating and the coffee -coffee and sweets just go together for me. It is truly hard to have just coffee when I see such tempting sweets all around. But I did great today!
I got a quarter of a chocolate muffin and took a small bite. I did not like it very much, it was "alright" but I knew the quarter had to be at least 150 calories (it was a jumbo muffin to begin with) and that's 1/8 of my daily calorie intake goal. I did not eat it. I know the old me would have ended up nibbling away at it eventually and needlessly consuming 150 extra calories -just because it was there and sorta good. That wedge of "so-so-ness" would have cost me 1/23.3 a pound of fat I want off of me. No thanks. I am feeling very encouraged by my new outlook and resolve to just pass up a sweet!
Last weekend I had a lot of struggles with food and did not do as well, but if there's one thing I have learned about diets and me on them is: I have to have a healthy tension of discipline and grace. If I am too strict and too harsh on myself with it I will surely fail, surely gain it all back and then some, and feel self-defeated and too discouraged to try again. If I am too lax and keep thinking "Oh well, tomorrow is another day" I will never lose the weight I so desperately seek to shed! The healthy tension I am striving for this time around reminds me of how it is with God. We have to hold equally on to God's grace and God's justice -we can't remain in Him if we chose to only hold on to one.
On the days that I have come close to thinking "Who am I kidding, I am never going to really lose much weight and I will never really keep it off, so I'm just going to enjoy this food and screw the diet..." I have had a great resolve to just come back to that ugly voice in my head tempting me to just ditch all my hard work and sacrifice with "If I keep thinking this way I won't ever lose the weigh and keep it off and I want to lose it and keep it off more than I want this food." Thankfully, this is working. It hasn't always in the past.
Yesterday we went to the beach for a fun family get-away. It was going to be about 106 and the coast was only about 130 miles away and about 30 degrees cooler -a "no-brainer" option for us! :-)
I did well on my calories in the morning (aprox 210 calories), but I am not sure about the afternoon/evening. For lunch I had half a croissant sandwich -probably 500 calories. The croissant was good, but I know I'd rather have had a bowl of fruit or two bowls of veggies for the same calories it was worth. For dinner we went to a restaurant and I got a shredded chicken topped with coleslaw sandwich and the whole family shared a plate of amazingly good garlic fries. The white bread of my sandwich was nothing special so I grabbed a fork and just at the inside and I had a good amount of the fries, but probably half the amount I'd normally have. I felt disappointment creep in and then I told it to get lost, because I had made good decisions and all the hard work of building a sand castle and running around at the beach had probably burned off an extra 300 calories alone! There is no way to know for sure, but I bet my daily total yesterday was no more than 1600 calories, and that's still significantly better than I had been eating just two weeks ago! :-)
Future Steps:
I know, I know, I know I need to REALLY start a REGULAR exercise routine. I know that if my goal is to be healthy I will NEED to exercise too. And I do enjoy physical activity. It's just a big challenge for me to make the time for it. But by this time next week I will start some kind of daily exercise. I will! :-)
Monday, August 23, 2010
New Diet Days 3 & 4: LIfe Improvement
Day Three:
I ended my day with only 1055 calories. I thought I was very close to the 1500 limit so I was very happy to see such a low number. Why? Because I was craving -like CRAZY!- dessert. And with almost 450 calories to spare I splurged on homemade strawberry shortcake!!! :-) I really enjoyed it too. But it occurred to me after I ate it that it wasn't very much food for about 450 calories. It was hard to know how many calories it really was (since I made it and it wasn't from a pre-measured package).
Day Four:
This was Friday. Fridays are a very hard day for me to be on a diet: it's my women's Bible study morning and there are always a ton of tempting sweets and savory dishes. I would not be surprised, at all, if on some past Fridays I have consumed 800 calories there. Hard to know, really, but it would not shock me to find out that I actually have had that much... Scary!
I went, nervous to see all the good food there would be. Thankfully there were some healthier options like light yogurt and bananas. I had a half banana and a light vanilla yogurt (about 110 calories for the two). But then I was just stupid! I had a mini scone. It was good, but probably NOT worth all the un-known calories. I estimated it at 100 calories. Not that big of a deal, but there was no redeeming health values to the stupid thing. And I was sad to know that I caved in too easily to it.
The rest of my day went okay. I made fairly good decisions and kept my calorie count to under 1,500. I estimated my "leftovers-from-dinner" lunch to be about 500 calories. We were driving down to my in-law's house so we did the usual routine of "just get out the door ASAP" routine and stopped for fast food on the way to feed the family. It was not hard for me to choose something low calorie. I spoke up and said "Jack in the Box!" because I like their chicken fajita pocket. It's fairly tasty and and just 326 calories. It was a bit hard to not eat some fries, but I knew that if I had one -I'd have many of them! So I stuck with my pita and had a Diet Coke. (I know, so much for my trying to avoid diet drinks!)
Because my calorie count was at only a bit over 1,000 I planned to have half of a chocolate milk shake with my husband. But our dog thwarted my plans! I put it in a cup holder in the back of the car and the dang dog decided to lick all the whipped cream and even got as far down as the top layer of the shake. To put it mildly I was pretty ticked with her. LOL
About 45 minutes later we stopped to get a Frosty from Wendys for me. I got a small Frosty and it was very tasty. And in a way it was better because it was much lower in calories. :-) I just looked it up: it was 310 calories. So my day's total was close to 1400 total for the day. I am sure with the milk shake I would have easily gone over.
It is now Monday -three days later- and I wish I could say I did as well as the first four days of the diet this past weekend. ... See my next entry for more information. :(
I ended my day with only 1055 calories. I thought I was very close to the 1500 limit so I was very happy to see such a low number. Why? Because I was craving -like CRAZY!- dessert. And with almost 450 calories to spare I splurged on homemade strawberry shortcake!!! :-) I really enjoyed it too. But it occurred to me after I ate it that it wasn't very much food for about 450 calories. It was hard to know how many calories it really was (since I made it and it wasn't from a pre-measured package).
Day Four:
This was Friday. Fridays are a very hard day for me to be on a diet: it's my women's Bible study morning and there are always a ton of tempting sweets and savory dishes. I would not be surprised, at all, if on some past Fridays I have consumed 800 calories there. Hard to know, really, but it would not shock me to find out that I actually have had that much... Scary!
I went, nervous to see all the good food there would be. Thankfully there were some healthier options like light yogurt and bananas. I had a half banana and a light vanilla yogurt (about 110 calories for the two). But then I was just stupid! I had a mini scone. It was good, but probably NOT worth all the un-known calories. I estimated it at 100 calories. Not that big of a deal, but there was no redeeming health values to the stupid thing. And I was sad to know that I caved in too easily to it.
The rest of my day went okay. I made fairly good decisions and kept my calorie count to under 1,500. I estimated my "leftovers-from-dinner" lunch to be about 500 calories. We were driving down to my in-law's house so we did the usual routine of "just get out the door ASAP" routine and stopped for fast food on the way to feed the family. It was not hard for me to choose something low calorie. I spoke up and said "Jack in the Box!" because I like their chicken fajita pocket. It's fairly tasty and and just 326 calories. It was a bit hard to not eat some fries, but I knew that if I had one -I'd have many of them! So I stuck with my pita and had a Diet Coke. (I know, so much for my trying to avoid diet drinks!)
Because my calorie count was at only a bit over 1,000 I planned to have half of a chocolate milk shake with my husband. But our dog thwarted my plans! I put it in a cup holder in the back of the car and the dang dog decided to lick all the whipped cream and even got as far down as the top layer of the shake. To put it mildly I was pretty ticked with her. LOL
About 45 minutes later we stopped to get a Frosty from Wendys for me. I got a small Frosty and it was very tasty. And in a way it was better because it was much lower in calories. :-) I just looked it up: it was 310 calories. So my day's total was close to 1400 total for the day. I am sure with the milk shake I would have easily gone over.
It is now Monday -three days later- and I wish I could say I did as well as the first four days of the diet this past weekend. ... See my next entry for more information. :(
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Diet Day 2: Life Improvement
Today was day two.
Day t*w*o ...
And I sit here, very hungry! LOL
I need to tally up today's calories.
Breakfast (again just an iced coffee -I had an appointment and didn't grab anything to eat before heading out). Non-fat late (medium size) estimated calories: 110.
Lunch (I did better with this today!) last night's leftovers -a huge plate of vegetables and rice and about 1/3 strip of chicken. I had more veggies and rice, but less chicken so I am estimating my lunch to be about 500 calories (maybe much less -hard to really know).
Dinner: We went to Subway. I had a turkey sandwich. Since I was so under my goal of 1,500 calories yesterday I decided for tonight's dinner to have once slice of cheese, "light on the mayo" and the oil and vinegar splash. I also had almost a full bag of Baked BBQ Lays Potato Chips. Based on what I know the calories to be -at least- I estimate the dinner was a total of 620 calories. I also caved in and had a Diet Coke. At least I didn't have a regular Coke, but I know the diet sodas are not good for me!
I did not drink nearly enough water today. Sadly I can only say I have had 3 glasses. I will work harder tomorrow to DRINK MORE!!
I did not have time -or should I say, make time- for exercise today. It was a rough day...
Aloha.
Here's to Day 3!
Day t*w*o ...
And I sit here, very hungry! LOL
I need to tally up today's calories.
Breakfast (again just an iced coffee -I had an appointment and didn't grab anything to eat before heading out). Non-fat late (medium size) estimated calories: 110.
Lunch (I did better with this today!) last night's leftovers -a huge plate of vegetables and rice and about 1/3 strip of chicken. I had more veggies and rice, but less chicken so I am estimating my lunch to be about 500 calories (maybe much less -hard to really know).
Dinner: We went to Subway. I had a turkey sandwich. Since I was so under my goal of 1,500 calories yesterday I decided for tonight's dinner to have once slice of cheese, "light on the mayo" and the oil and vinegar splash. I also had almost a full bag of Baked BBQ Lays Potato Chips. Based on what I know the calories to be -at least- I estimate the dinner was a total of 620 calories. I also caved in and had a Diet Coke. At least I didn't have a regular Coke, but I know the diet sodas are not good for me!
Dessert: I had a bowl of fruit again. Same as last night. Estimated calories: 150
Grand total of *estimated* calories for the day: 1,380.
I did not drink nearly enough water today. Sadly I can only say I have had 3 glasses. I will work harder tomorrow to DRINK MORE!!
I did not have time -or should I say, make time- for exercise today. It was a rough day...
Aloha.
Here's to Day 3!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Praying About Hawaii
I planned to start my forty days of praying about gong to Hawaii today. But I also started my new diet today and today is the first day back from four days away and I have not devoted even 10 minutes to praying about Hawaii. I have thought about it, but I have not prayed about it like I had planned. I will post when I do officially start the forty days of prayer about Hawaii.
Aloha!
Aloha!
Diet Day 1: Life Improvement
It's after 9 PM on my first day of healthy eating. I've done "okay" but not as great as I need to be. When I posted last night's blog I was at my in-law's house in Southern California. We did not arrive home to Bakersfield until after midnight and when I woke up this morning I didn't know what to eat. I didn't have anything healthy on hand (we had been gone for over four days). So I packed up the girls and we went grocery shopping at Trader Joe's.
It was sorta funny. I woke up hungry, ready to eat anything so I knew I had to get out of the house or I'd be blowing my new diet on the very first day. I didn't make coffee, get them food, nothing. I just got us all dressed and filled their sippy cups and off we went. I did, however, stop at Starbucks. I live right by a drive-thru one and I couldn't resist. I need to be alert for a morning of shopping with two young kids!
Breakfast: A grande iced coffee with two Splenda & half & half. Estimated calories: 80 & 6 grams of fat. (The "Barista" put too much half & half in it so I got my calories/fat estimate by doubling a serving of half & half's amounts.)
My girls gave me a bit of a hard time at Trader Joe's. My youngest chucked her sippy cup on the floor splitting the cup up one side and causing a HUGE spill on the floor. I got home having spent a frustrating $41.93 and didn't have anything to eat. I got plenty of veggies, some whole wheat pastas, some brown rice, some "Morning Star" veggie "sausage" patties, some firm tofu and some fruit. But nothing for lunch.
I went through my cupboards and found some veggie soup. Score! I was so hungry -as you can imagine! I had been good to pass-up the goodies they were sampling at Trader Joe's (though I gave my portions to the girls since they had been dragged out of the house without breakfast).
Lunch: Veggie Soup. Calories: 160; Fat: 0. I felt like something like a good grilled cheese was certainly missing... But it was tasty and I gladly had the whole can!
Later on I went to Sam's Club and got some more fruit and per the request of my husband I got in the food court line to get him a "Power Aide" drink and a fresh baked pretzel. I knew our girls would want some too so I got two pretzels. As I waited for them to bake the pretzels I had a big craving for a cold Coke. It has to be at least 102 degrees outside and I really love Coke. I used to like Diet Coke, but when I was pregnant with my second daughter I got a huge dis-taste for it and to this day cannot say I like it anymore. I know that I should not drink diet drinks, but at least they have no calories. I thought about it obsessively while those pretzels were baking. I had a hard time not wanting to just go back in the line for a second drink cup. But I thought about how dumb I was being and how bad coke is for me -especially with all the high fructose corn syrup!
But when I got the pretzels in my hand, warm and smelling so good I lost it! I had half of one. I don't normally like them that much, but today's was very tasty. I had a hard time stopping at just half. But I thankfully did.
After I got back home I went back out to Costco - I was trying to find some good chicken and beef to make for dinner since I was at Trader Joes and then later at Sam's, but didn't find any worth getting. By the time I got to Costco it was about 6 PM and I was STARVING, despite the pretzel I had just eaten half of. At Costco I ended up having a few of the potato chips my toddler sampled. And I tried a very small bite of a "Weight Watchers" fudge Popsicle bar But I didn't have anything else! Honest.
Snacks: Half fresh baked pretzel; about three salt & vinegar chips and a bite of a diet ice cream bar. Calories *estimated* 220; fat *estimated* 3 grams of fat.
When I got home I had chicken for bbq-ing and steak for my husband and girls. I cut up a bunch veggies (asparagus, broccoli, yellow squash, etc.) and I mixed some olive oil, grilling salt and crushed garlic together with the veggies in a foil packet and had my husband throw it on the grill for about 12 minutes. I made the brown rice and we had a "nice" healthy dinner.
I put quotes on "nice" because I heard my oldest cry nearly the whole dinner, "I don't like vegetables!" And my youngest just threw off her steak and screamed at us.
Dinner: 3/4 a medium sized chicken breast; about a cup of lightly cooked veggies; and about 1/3 cup of cooked brown rice with a small amount of lemon pepper for seasoning. Estimated calories: 420; estimated fat: 7 grams.
After dinner we all took a walk. It was hard with the dog wanting to sniff everything (we sadly never leash-trained her like we did our first dog) and our oldest complained nearly the whole time that we walked to fast, that it was too hot and that she was tired. We probably walked half a mile at a non-brisk pace. It was not the ideal start to getting back into shape, but at least I got out there. It was a hot and not easy day...
After our walk I had some water! I am estimating that I have had 5 glasses of water so far. I should have already had 8, but before I got to sleep I am sure I will have at least 6 down. :-) And I know -on average- I was not getting in 6 glasses a day in my recent history.
And about an hour later I had a bowl of cut up fruit. I had delicious strawberry slices, some thawing mango chunks (I love eating partially frozen mango!) pineapple chunks and some honey dew melon chunks. I enjoyed it, but I would be a liar if I didn't tell you that I could so have a slice of cake right now, or some cookies. But I am okay. I am a bit hungry still, but I usually go to sleep hungry. I am one of those people that is almost always hungry. SO I am sorta used to it.
Snack: two cups of cut fruit. Estimated calories: 150; fat: 0 grams.
Overall, my first day was not too bad. But I need to be better prepared for my meals so I am not so hungry and tempted to just eat anything in sight!
Total estimated calories: 1030 -wow! I just added it all up. I had much less than I expected and much less than I planned for. I said yesterday I was going to try for 1,500 calories a day for my first week. Maybe I will go have a snack to bring the count up to at least 1,200. ???
Total estimated fat*: 16 grams.
*I am less interested in counting fat, but I did today. I may not give my estimated fat amounts every time I do a food diary type entry as I did today.
Aloha!
It was sorta funny. I woke up hungry, ready to eat anything so I knew I had to get out of the house or I'd be blowing my new diet on the very first day. I didn't make coffee, get them food, nothing. I just got us all dressed and filled their sippy cups and off we went. I did, however, stop at Starbucks. I live right by a drive-thru one and I couldn't resist. I need to be alert for a morning of shopping with two young kids!
Breakfast: A grande iced coffee with two Splenda & half & half. Estimated calories: 80 & 6 grams of fat. (The "Barista" put too much half & half in it so I got my calories/fat estimate by doubling a serving of half & half's amounts.)
My girls gave me a bit of a hard time at Trader Joe's. My youngest chucked her sippy cup on the floor splitting the cup up one side and causing a HUGE spill on the floor. I got home having spent a frustrating $41.93 and didn't have anything to eat. I got plenty of veggies, some whole wheat pastas, some brown rice, some "Morning Star" veggie "sausage" patties, some firm tofu and some fruit. But nothing for lunch.
I went through my cupboards and found some veggie soup. Score! I was so hungry -as you can imagine! I had been good to pass-up the goodies they were sampling at Trader Joe's (though I gave my portions to the girls since they had been dragged out of the house without breakfast).
Lunch: Veggie Soup. Calories: 160; Fat: 0. I felt like something like a good grilled cheese was certainly missing... But it was tasty and I gladly had the whole can!
Later on I went to Sam's Club and got some more fruit and per the request of my husband I got in the food court line to get him a "Power Aide" drink and a fresh baked pretzel. I knew our girls would want some too so I got two pretzels. As I waited for them to bake the pretzels I had a big craving for a cold Coke. It has to be at least 102 degrees outside and I really love Coke. I used to like Diet Coke, but when I was pregnant with my second daughter I got a huge dis-taste for it and to this day cannot say I like it anymore. I know that I should not drink diet drinks, but at least they have no calories. I thought about it obsessively while those pretzels were baking. I had a hard time not wanting to just go back in the line for a second drink cup. But I thought about how dumb I was being and how bad coke is for me -especially with all the high fructose corn syrup!
But when I got the pretzels in my hand, warm and smelling so good I lost it! I had half of one. I don't normally like them that much, but today's was very tasty. I had a hard time stopping at just half. But I thankfully did.
After I got back home I went back out to Costco - I was trying to find some good chicken and beef to make for dinner since I was at Trader Joes and then later at Sam's, but didn't find any worth getting. By the time I got to Costco it was about 6 PM and I was STARVING, despite the pretzel I had just eaten half of. At Costco I ended up having a few of the potato chips my toddler sampled. And I tried a very small bite of a "Weight Watchers" fudge Popsicle bar But I didn't have anything else! Honest.
Snacks: Half fresh baked pretzel; about three salt & vinegar chips and a bite of a diet ice cream bar. Calories *estimated* 220; fat *estimated* 3 grams of fat.
When I got home I had chicken for bbq-ing and steak for my husband and girls. I cut up a bunch veggies (asparagus, broccoli, yellow squash, etc.) and I mixed some olive oil, grilling salt and crushed garlic together with the veggies in a foil packet and had my husband throw it on the grill for about 12 minutes. I made the brown rice and we had a "nice" healthy dinner.
I put quotes on "nice" because I heard my oldest cry nearly the whole dinner, "I don't like vegetables!" And my youngest just threw off her steak and screamed at us.
Dinner: 3/4 a medium sized chicken breast; about a cup of lightly cooked veggies; and about 1/3 cup of cooked brown rice with a small amount of lemon pepper for seasoning. Estimated calories: 420; estimated fat: 7 grams.
After dinner we all took a walk. It was hard with the dog wanting to sniff everything (we sadly never leash-trained her like we did our first dog) and our oldest complained nearly the whole time that we walked to fast, that it was too hot and that she was tired. We probably walked half a mile at a non-brisk pace. It was not the ideal start to getting back into shape, but at least I got out there. It was a hot and not easy day...
After our walk I had some water! I am estimating that I have had 5 glasses of water so far. I should have already had 8, but before I got to sleep I am sure I will have at least 6 down. :-) And I know -on average- I was not getting in 6 glasses a day in my recent history.
And about an hour later I had a bowl of cut up fruit. I had delicious strawberry slices, some thawing mango chunks (I love eating partially frozen mango!) pineapple chunks and some honey dew melon chunks. I enjoyed it, but I would be a liar if I didn't tell you that I could so have a slice of cake right now, or some cookies. But I am okay. I am a bit hungry still, but I usually go to sleep hungry. I am one of those people that is almost always hungry. SO I am sorta used to it.
Snack: two cups of cut fruit. Estimated calories: 150; fat: 0 grams.
Overall, my first day was not too bad. But I need to be better prepared for my meals so I am not so hungry and tempted to just eat anything in sight!
Total estimated calories: 1030 -wow! I just added it all up. I had much less than I expected and much less than I planned for. I said yesterday I was going to try for 1,500 calories a day for my first week. Maybe I will go have a snack to bring the count up to at least 1,200. ???
Total estimated fat*: 16 grams.
*I am less interested in counting fat, but I did today. I may not give my estimated fat amounts every time I do a food diary type entry as I did today.
Aloha!
Monday, August 16, 2010
Plans for Healthy Eating (diet & nutrition): Life Improvement
I am no stranger to dieting. To dreaming about being thin. No starvation virgin. I have been on more diets than I can begin to recall or count. I started dieting when I was eight years old. I have had successes and extreme failures. I have tried everything from liquid diets, low carb diets, low calorie diets and odd diets like cabbage soup and the likes. 23 years of diet experience has taught me a lot about what does not work and I have learned some about what does work.
What I know to be true about the ones that do not work:
I know that I am someone who gains weight -far too easily- when I am stressed out. I think my body overly produces the hormone cortisol when I am stressed out and I know I eat more when I am avoiding issues or trying to stuff things down. For many reasons I need to reduce my stress level and I need to make de-stressing and relaxation a daily part of my day. (This will work well with my 40 days of praying about Hawaii.)
I used to be a strict vegetarian and I enjoyed it, really! I found, though, that I was getting very chubby and I decided to eat white meat again and I lost about 10 pounds instantly. But later on I went on a somewhat vegan diet -yet I still ate lean chicken -about a breast a week's worth. That worked well for me. I will try to incorporate a vegan based diet with my like for occasional chicken and such. I love cheese -far too much- but when I just give it up I do okay, so I am going to give it up (but if I am served something with cheese I won't just skip it, but do my best to have just a little).
I have a SERIOUS addiction to the fatty & sweet combination (like doughnuts and cakes and pies and cookies, OH MY!). So for the first month or so I will do my best to not have any. I thankfully don't care much for candy, but all the birthdays and holidays coming up will be quite the challenge!
I know that when I tried Atkins I suffered so much from boredom. I could not take the combination of chicken, cheese and eggs anymore. (Remember I don't eat red meat.) It worked well at first, but within two months of falling off the low-carb wagon I gained back all of it plus the wicked two or three more! To combat boredom I will try at least one new recipe a week.
One new element I will try this time around (in addition to making de-stressing/relaxation a priortiy) is eating as much as I can in raw form. I know that most nutritional value is lost in cooking so I will explore eating raw and minimal cooking when possible.
I will be cutting back on caffeine -I would like to be caffeine free, but for now I will be happy to just cut way back. I know I am not drinking enough water, so I will starting NOW be drinking much more. I will try to have at least 8 glasses of water a day. I know it helps to feel full and flush toxins, but I can see that my skin is too dry - I know I am not getting enough water! (I have had a glass of ice water already since I started this post!)
I will avoid diet drinks and stuff with scary amounts of sodium and chemicals to replace missing flavors. I am going to focus on eating healthfully and as naturally as I can!
Okay. Well, tomorrow will be day one for this new diet. No, scratch that, "way of life." I know, without a doubt, that I need to make this a LIFE change or I will need to just give up now and make peace with the fact that I will always be fat. I don't want to ever be this fat again -never. I know I can do this. I know I need to do this. I WILL do this.
Aloha!
What I know to be true about the ones that do not work:
- Fad diets suck! And therefore I am totally avoiding them.
- Diets too low in calories only lead to failure and binge eating for me. Not going to go there ever again!
- Diets that never let me enjoy an entire food group -like carbohydrates are too hard and I cannot stick with them.
- Diets that don't have any rules don't work for me. I suffer from having a lack of self-control.
- Diets that focus more on being healthy than being skinny work for me.
- Diets that are easy to follow are ones I stick with.
- Diets that give me energy help me to stick with them.
- Diets that allow me to feel normal in social situations are ones I stick with.
- Diets that are low enough in calories help me see results fast so I feel motivated to stick with them.
- Diets that are not too expensive help me to stay with them!
- I will greatly focus on eating extremely healthy foods.
- I will start at about 1500 calories a day for 7 days.
- I will reduce my calories to about 1200 a day until I get within 10 pounds of my goal.
- I will menu plan to keep myself from being too hungry and caving-in and eating too much of all the wrong things.
- I will eliminate certain foods I know I just cannot control myself with.
- I will have rules like "no cheese" in the beginning so I can see results fast and help keep costs down.
- I will make as much as I can from scratch to keep costs down and health benefits high -also I think I will enjoy food I make more than something from a box or can!
- I will keep HEALTHY low calorie snacks on hand.
- I will have "in case" activities to resort to when I feel bored and just want to eat (something I sadly struggle with).
I know that I am someone who gains weight -far too easily- when I am stressed out. I think my body overly produces the hormone cortisol when I am stressed out and I know I eat more when I am avoiding issues or trying to stuff things down. For many reasons I need to reduce my stress level and I need to make de-stressing and relaxation a daily part of my day. (This will work well with my 40 days of praying about Hawaii.)
I used to be a strict vegetarian and I enjoyed it, really! I found, though, that I was getting very chubby and I decided to eat white meat again and I lost about 10 pounds instantly. But later on I went on a somewhat vegan diet -yet I still ate lean chicken -about a breast a week's worth. That worked well for me. I will try to incorporate a vegan based diet with my like for occasional chicken and such. I love cheese -far too much- but when I just give it up I do okay, so I am going to give it up (but if I am served something with cheese I won't just skip it, but do my best to have just a little).
I have a SERIOUS addiction to the fatty & sweet combination (like doughnuts and cakes and pies and cookies, OH MY!). So for the first month or so I will do my best to not have any. I thankfully don't care much for candy, but all the birthdays and holidays coming up will be quite the challenge!
I know that when I tried Atkins I suffered so much from boredom. I could not take the combination of chicken, cheese and eggs anymore. (Remember I don't eat red meat.) It worked well at first, but within two months of falling off the low-carb wagon I gained back all of it plus the wicked two or three more! To combat boredom I will try at least one new recipe a week.
One new element I will try this time around (in addition to making de-stressing/relaxation a priortiy) is eating as much as I can in raw form. I know that most nutritional value is lost in cooking so I will explore eating raw and minimal cooking when possible.
I will be cutting back on caffeine -I would like to be caffeine free, but for now I will be happy to just cut way back. I know I am not drinking enough water, so I will starting NOW be drinking much more. I will try to have at least 8 glasses of water a day. I know it helps to feel full and flush toxins, but I can see that my skin is too dry - I know I am not getting enough water! (I have had a glass of ice water already since I started this post!)
I will avoid diet drinks and stuff with scary amounts of sodium and chemicals to replace missing flavors. I am going to focus on eating healthfully and as naturally as I can!
Okay. Well, tomorrow will be day one for this new diet. No, scratch that, "way of life." I know, without a doubt, that I need to make this a LIFE change or I will need to just give up now and make peace with the fact that I will always be fat. I don't want to ever be this fat again -never. I know I can do this. I know I need to do this. I WILL do this.
Aloha!
Plans for the Future
Alex and I are no longer bound to Bakersfield with a house. We got out of our house in June -just 6 days shy of 6 years. It was emotional -to say the least- but now we are free from a mortgage in a terrible housing market where we saw no end in sight.
I am beginning tomorrow to pray for God's will for us and Hawaii. I have prayed, for sure! But I am going to commit and journal for 40 days about what I feel God is speaking to me about it. So for the next 40 days I will journal (blog) on here-as much as I can- about the 40 days of praying about Hawaii.
Additionally, I am beginning a serious diet tomorrow. I want very much to start running again. But I have not taken enough weight off since I tried to run last year to really feel safe trying again. I need to drop 20 pounds before I can safely subject my knees to running again. I cannot express how painful it was last summer. The thought of the pain reoccurring haunts me, but I love running and I love the idea of completing at least a half marathon by age 35 too much to give up all-together!
So if you are finding my blog for the first time or visiting it again -stay tuned. The next 40 days will be an adventure. I will do my best to make it interesting, real -raw even- and worth your while to read.
I hope at the end of the 40 days to drop at least 10 pounds and to know what God's will for us and Hawaii is. I hope it's to live there, but I want His will more than mine -truly- and I will be okay if He tells me we are not to live there. I just hope if that's what He tells me He also tells me that He wants me to vacation there!!! :-)
For the next 40 days of praying when I blog about that I will name each entry with a reference to the day(s) of praying I am on. Regarding the diet I am going on I will make references to "health" and or "food" or "diet."
I am going to write my first diet entry now...
Aloha!
I am beginning tomorrow to pray for God's will for us and Hawaii. I have prayed, for sure! But I am going to commit and journal for 40 days about what I feel God is speaking to me about it. So for the next 40 days I will journal (blog) on here-as much as I can- about the 40 days of praying about Hawaii.
Additionally, I am beginning a serious diet tomorrow. I want very much to start running again. But I have not taken enough weight off since I tried to run last year to really feel safe trying again. I need to drop 20 pounds before I can safely subject my knees to running again. I cannot express how painful it was last summer. The thought of the pain reoccurring haunts me, but I love running and I love the idea of completing at least a half marathon by age 35 too much to give up all-together!
So if you are finding my blog for the first time or visiting it again -stay tuned. The next 40 days will be an adventure. I will do my best to make it interesting, real -raw even- and worth your while to read.
I hope at the end of the 40 days to drop at least 10 pounds and to know what God's will for us and Hawaii is. I hope it's to live there, but I want His will more than mine -truly- and I will be okay if He tells me we are not to live there. I just hope if that's what He tells me He also tells me that He wants me to vacation there!!! :-)
For the next 40 days of praying when I blog about that I will name each entry with a reference to the day(s) of praying I am on. Regarding the diet I am going on I will make references to "health" and or "food" or "diet."
I am going to write my first diet entry now...
Aloha!
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